The Meltdown

I had a complete meltdown today. I had enough. I think I have been a little over stimulated. With Christmas, Daddy-O's company tanking, the impending birth of this baby, all of the kids being home all of the time, Lego's all over the playroom floor, I guess it was destine to happen. The monkeys have been particularly crazy here at the Zoo. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the weather. It's been either raining or below freezing. Playing outside for any length of time is pretty difficult. I've tried to let them play creatively indoors. Lots of pretend. Lots of Star Wars. OK, too much Star Wars. But, oh my! They are just so LOUD! I can barely stand it. I trying to get them to keep the loud down in the playroom, it doesn't stay, ever.

At 4:00 pm today I lost it. I was at the other end of the house putting away clothes when I couldn't take it anymore. They were playing Star Wars and pretend a Mylar balloon was a probe droid. They just keep hitting the thing with their light saber and sword. I couldn't stand the sound. I yelled something about fighting and all the noise and then took the balloon cut it up and through it in the trash. Then I returned to the playroom to tell them that I had enough of all the noise and mess and I was about to leave and never come back.... I'm a terrible mother. You do not say stuff like that to your children. Then I cried hysterically for the next 30 minutes. I called Daddy-O at work and told him he needed to come home.

What do my sweet over stimulating monkeys do for me while I'm sobbing out of control on the couch? They actually quiet down a bit. Then they come to me with an old Happy Meal bag full of presents. No. 1 Son made me 3 paper airplanes and Surfer Dude gave me two sheets of stickers and a little picture he drew of me. Now I feel worse than ever and I'm crying because they are so sweet. They sit beside me and I just hold them and tell them how much a love them and how sorry I am. They still love me. Why? I'm not really sure. But I'm glad they do.

Daddy-O gets home and looks really puzzled. The Princess and No. 1 Son are coloring at the dining room table. Surfer Dude is collecting more presents for me in the playroom. I'm sitting on the couch all puffy eyed and runny nosed. And the house is quiet. It was entirely too peaceful for normal, especially after the call to come home. We talk a little and he says "See, they do listen to you. You just have to be really, really sad for them to do what you want." Thanks Daddy-O, but I don't want this to happen for them to listen to me.

The end is near

Well, I don't think it will be much longer now. I'm 39 weeks today, there really isn't that much time left. I'm sitting on the couch trying to type with the laptop on what's left of my lap. There is not really any space. The computer is touching my stomach and someone keeps kicking it.

My sister-in-law, Jan, called this morning, she asked what I was doing. My answer, "Cleaning the house." With great enthusiasum and excitement she says, "Are you nesting?" Uhhh, no. I'm trying not to live in complete and total filth. I think everyone is about to explode about when the baby will be born.

I try not to think too much about when the baby will be here. I still need to do some things like type out the instructions for taking care of the kids. That would be really helpful. I would like to go buy a boy and a girl coming home from the hospital outfit. Daddy-O would appreciate not having to go to the store after we had the baby. I need to wash the car seat and dig out the thingy that goes in it to keep the baby from flopping around. I would like to have some food in the house. It would be nice to have the Christmas presents all wrapped. Oh yah, and The Princess's doll high chair finished and all the kids blankets sewn and then the sewing machine put away. And I really need to make the kids' t-shirts for when the baby is born. Now for the true nesting item, clean the carpets. I guess if someone calls and I'm cleaning the carpets I would probably say I'm nesting. But for now I'm just trying to keep the basics under control: laundry, dishes, feeding, and food off the floor.

I have been thinking about what day would be nice to have the baby. If it's a girl, it would be really nice to have her on January 1 since it's the Solemnity of Mary. Of course I would have to miss the holy day mass because I was in the hospital, but I do believe that having a baby is a "good reason" for missing mass on a holy day of obligation. If I had the baby on Tuesday, December 30th and it was a boy there would be the tradition of having my boys on Tuesdays. It would just add to my continued confusion of the boys' birth dates since they would all be born on dates divisible by 5 which for some reason always makes me stop and think before I can answer the birthday question. I have to teach an NFP class on January 8. It would be really nice to be out of the hospital by then or at least not in labor that night. I just want this little one to be here safe and sound exactly when he or she is supposed to be here.

It would be nice to have an idea when the big day might be. Daddy-O's family's Christmas is going to be on the 29th. I have said for a long time, months, that we would not be traveling there for the big get-together. Now I'm having second thoughts. Which is crazy because they live two hours from our house and the nearest hospital to their home is an hour away! I don't know what I'm thinking. May be I have a secret desire to have this baby in the car? NOT! Even if we did go, we would have to go early in the day so we could get home at a decent hour. And as of this morning they plan on having thier Christmas at 5:00. That's just too late. We wouldn't be getting home until midnight.

The end is near. When exactly, only the Lord knows. I'm going to enjoy these last few days of my pregnancy as it will most likely will be my last which makes me sad. But I'm going to enjoy this last few moments of being pregnant and my wiggly baby.

I guess I'm an ass

I really get tired of people emailing stuff that really doesn't pertain to me. My sister sent me this email with an attachment about the longest (Psalm 119), the shortest (Psalm 117), and the center (Psalm 118) chapter of the Bible . It also said that there were 594 chapters before and after chapter 118 for a total 1188 chapters in the Bible. And finally there was the center verse of the Bible, Psalm 118:8 which says, "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." The pictures were nice and the sentiment was nice, but come on I CATHOLIC. I don't even use a King James Bible. Besides, this just sounds like a bunch of numerology to me. But, I'm not going to get into that.


The part that makes me an ass. I email my sister back the following:

Subject: The Bible - interesting but not true for all Bibles

This is only true for the Protestant Bible. Our Bible, which was the first bible, contains the apocryphal books which make the center something else. These books where removed during the reformation to separate the Protestants from the Catholics.

She replies with the following:

The sentiment is still beautiful, that’s why I sent it. I don’t need a lesson from you.

Okay, I guess I could have said something nice and then mentioned the other stuff. And I miss spoke a little when I said out Bible was the first. What I meant was first there was the Catholic Bible and then there was the Protestant Bible. After sending her an apologetic email I looked up this whole middle of the Bible stuff; it's all bogus. This whole center thing isn't even true for the King James Version.

Now I'm on my soap box.

I'm not a blanket forwarded. If I'm going to forward something to someone I'm going to make sure first that it's true and second that it's appropriate. I don't believe in luck. I don't believe there is anything magical about sending some prayer to 10 people in the next 10 minutes or I'll have bad luck or whatever the crap the claim is. I believe in God and Jesus Christ His son. And as Christian we are to have no other gods. Which to me means not being superstitions and putting my faith in some email. If there is a nice prayer being circulated that's fine. Take the time to edit the non-faith stuff out. And make sure the information is true!

Does anyone have an opinion about this? Or am I the only one bothered. I sure would like some feedback.

A Rare and Illusive Photo

OK, this is truly are rare and illusive occasion. And seeing that this will probably be the last time I'm pregnant, which makes me sad and is a whole other story, I thought I would post this. A picture of me pregnant. I'm rarely on this side of the camera as most moms are on the picture taking side. And I never really think about having my own picture taken. So, here I am in all my glory, 37 weeks to the day!

I'm usually a worry wart

I had a prenatal appointment this morning. The baby and I are perking along nicely. The midwife checked the position of the wee one. Wee one is not really head down. He/she is resting its head on my right hip. Class, can we say breached baby? Margaret, my midwife, says that this is not a big baby and there is still plenty of room for the him/her to move around.

I not really concerned about it. I guess a more correct response would be, I'm not concerned at all. And that is how I've been for this entire pregnancy concerning other things. The way I see it with the whole breached situation is the worst case scenario is I have to have a c-section. I'm not trilled with the idea of having major surgery, I don't know who would be, but I still get the baby. And that's what pregnancy is all about, the prize at the end. The bouncing baby boy or girl.

Again, the grace of God is all over me this year, not that He wasn't there before. The spirit is just really strong this time. At my very first prenatal appointment Margaret said my uterus was measuring larger than normal. So, what does that mean? One of two things: fourth baby = bigger uterus or more than one baby.This was a shock for me. I was planning on having my fourth baby not my fourth and fifth. There was some serious shock. If I said OK one time I must of said it 100 while I listen to her. A million thoughts raced through my head. God blessed me with an ultrasound that very day and the presence of one little baby. See now really worry just stunned for a little while.

The next time I saw Margaret she did a routine blood draw. I found out that I didn't have any platelets. You know the stuff in blood that keeps you from bleeding to death if you get cut. OK, I had some but nothing in the range of normal. This was really odd to me since I use to be a platelet donor for the Red Cross and could do a double donation because I had so many platelets. I didn't worry about it, I assumed it was some kind of lab error. There was another blood test to recheck and again a really low platelet count. I still didn't worry. I wasn't even a little bit concerned. Then there was talk of an auto-immune disorder. Still not worried. More blood work. No auto-immune disorder. See, nothing to worry about.

I really could get used to this no-worrying lifestyle. I like it. I didn't even flip out a little when Daddy-O came home the other night really worried about the state of the company. Normally, I would have joined him in panic. Nope not this time. Complete calm and composure. It was really strange. Nice, but strange.

So, here I sit with a crooked baby inside me and a husband in a financial panic. And I'm fine. Actually, I'm better than fine. I'm festive. I'm not worried. It's Advent. We are preparing for the coming of our Savior and all things are good. All things will be fine just as they are supposed to be.

Time to Decorate

I'm not usually a Saturday-After-Thanksgiving kind of Christmas decorator. Growing up we never put our tree up until the week maybe two before Christmas and then it would stay up just past Epiphanie. I have followed that tradition for the most part until this year. We put our tree up the Saturday after Christmas. It took all day Saturday and part of Sunday morning before church. Our tree is not that big, it's just that there is more to putting up a tree than just putting up a tree. In our house it involves cleaning and then rearranging furniture, which took the biggest part of Saturday. I thought the boys would explode before we got to the point which we could put on the decorations. They survived and had a blast!


I'm not really sure why I wanted the tree up so early this year. It's usually a struggle for me to get up the gumption to even think about decorating. The year I was pregnant with The Princess my sister-in-law was so concerned the boys wouldn't have a tree she came to help and make sure it got put up. Ever since my mother died Christmas always makes me a little sad. Not this year! I am feeling incredibly festive. It's very strange. Maybe it's the impending doom of the economy that makes me want to have one last hoorah before the economy collapses and Daddy-O doesn't have any work.

Daddy-O and I decided we would just put up the tree and a few other things and not worry about all the other decoration. It really only makes sense considering the baby is due right after Christmas. So, that's what we did this past weekend. However, I want more! He has agreed to acquiesce to my request. So, tomorrow night I get to put up more stuff!!! Which means I have to put away a bunch of other stuff. This is probably a good and needed event, there is some serious dusting that needs to go on in our house!

I really don't have a lot of room to put much stuff but I'll find a spot or two for the things I want out. I guess if I didn't have four nativity scenes I might have a little extra space. Yes, four: a traditional ceramic scene, a Playmobil, Little People, and The Princess' plush set. If I had my way and a couple of extra thousand dollars I would have a life-size set in the front yard and every piece Fontanini makes in my living room. My living room would look like the lower-level of St. Mary's Bookstore!



Again, it's really strange to me that I want to do all this. I think God has blessed me with a little extra energy to do it all so that really helps. He gets full credit for my deposition as well. Maybe my mom has been talking to the Big Guy since we plan on naming the baby after her side of the family this time.

I'm even thinking about having an open house the weekend before Christmas so the neighbors we know can meet the new neighbors next door. We'll have to see how that comes together. It sounds like fun. I don't mind having parties. What I do mind is the clean-up! Yuck! My guess is we'll have the open house, I'll go into labor before I get everything cleaned up, and then be mortified by the disaster left at my home as I rush off to the hospital.


So, at our house the Christmas music in playing, the Christmas scented candles are burning, the tree is lit, and I'm feeling festive. Come on by!

I'm probably going to Hell

Let's just get to the point shall we? I HATE the song Christmas Shoes. I have had the Christmas music on since Saturday that's only four days and I'm already sick of the song. I think the station plays it more than any other song.

At any rate I'm probably going to Hell because I despise a Christmas song about a little boy who buys is mother a special gift just before she dies.

Move over folks, I'll bring the s'mores.